As I begin this blog, it is Monday, February 14th, Valentine's Day. The prior day, February 13th is an increasingly popular, modern holiday known as Galentine's Day, invented by Amy Poehler's character on Parks and Recreation. Regardless of your celebration or denial of these holidays, I believe the majority of us believe in love. As I reflect upon love, I cannot help but mention my endearing clients and manifesters. I love all of you, truly. Although I am not stingy with love, I am thoughtful about whom I bestow it to. And when I do, it is a free-flowing fount with no conditions. Yet, I also know discernment plays a part in that choice.
Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. - Mother Theresa
All people deserve love. I had an amazing philosophy teacher, named Fred Haumbach when I was a student at College of Dupage. On the first day of class he stated, much to our class' shock, everyone starts with an A in my class. Only your actions, or lack thereof, going forward determine your grade. If you show up, do the work, participate in class and engage to be present, generally, that will not change. I like to think about love in that same manner. Everyone starts out receiving my love as another human, and unless your actions and choices intentionally cause harm or ill will, I will pretty much continue to love you.
Now, are there echelons of love? Most certainly. I love my husband on a deeper, greater level than I do most. We are in love, share a history, a life, furry children, family, and continue to build a life together. He is always there for me, loving me no matter what. I share an equally deep with my best friend, who has been in my life longer than my husband. We endured most of junior high and all of high school together, vacationed numerous times together, been each other's maid of honor, endured physical separation, witnessed our joining our lives to our spouses, shared growing pains, grief, celebration, and tremendous growth. She is part of my family. Then we are part of a larger bestie tribe. Fortunately, I am part of many tribes. . So how much we love another may depend on certain factors, but the truth is love is love. And loving another is a choice. It is one of our most precious natural human resources for which there is an endless opportunity to create and bestow upon others.
Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I love my clients truly and they are the one relationship, where reciprocity is not relevant. I am come into their lives to support and guide them. It is a professional role though due to the intimacy of what is shared, regardless of pay it has many more layers and depths. It is not a job requirement to love clients, yet I do. I admire them for their courage to manifest their dreams, face their fears, and champion their wins. I love them for simply being who they are - humans with the best of intention to help others and fulfill their humanity destiny. I see them for who they are and each one is worthy of love on the basis of who they are.
I have learned not to worry about love, but to honor it’s coming with all my heart. – Alice Walker
Whether they realize it or not, my clients have taught me to love more deeply. They show me how to love with more compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance in loving others. Becoming a coach has taught me to see the innocence in others. This has taught me to view humanity through a limitless lens, and therefore, I accept individuals' humanity in spite of their flaws, shortcomings, and limits. This does not mean I am a perfect, loving soul as my humanity creates conflict with my intentions. However, loving is not about the amount bestowed, it is about the recognition of the human condition we all share. The choice to love requires a soulful examination of what love means. It can be more challenging and harder to check that your values align with your choices, to examine your own judgments, wrestle with true acceptance of imperfection, and resist the ease of the cancel culture abounding around us.
You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. - Buddha
So I challenge you to perform a health check on your love. To reflect upon how and who you love and why. You might be surprised to find you could afford to show more love toward others or yourself, to place boundaries around your heart when you are leaving nothing for yourself or are factually being taken advantage of for your giving heart, and to discover where growth may benefit your experience of love.
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